Hope Regained ~ A Poem


This poem was originally written without a title; a second version was written a few years later, given the title “Hope Regained”. This is the original version, with title added.

 

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Hope Regained

All alone, inside ice cold and sad tonight, here in this empty room;
Listening to the sounds of passing cars and voices bouncing back from bare walls.
Memories slowly enter my mind and then come crashing into conscious thought
Recollections of that happy day not so long gone by
And yet an eternity of events in memory
Bring on slow, burning tears as I feel myself being to cry.
Why ask for any answers? Leave alone each How and Why.
There are no questions allowed, but my God, where are you now
When I feel like I could die?
With such spontaneity and many an expectation we made our hopeful plans,
We gave much of what we thought we had and worked to make our home.
Our love so fresh and warm, invigorating and strong,
The only foundation to build our future upon.
We had only known each other for a while and yet could see so true:
That very definite bond, so evident, incredibly held us to one another –
See now, it should have been just me and you.
This is not merely a move for me, it’s a severing of golden thread,
It’s a tearing down of newly-built walls, a shattering reality.
Might I hope rather: a great step forwards into happier, secure opportunity?
Do you?
Dreams save when lonely and frightening the world seems,
Holding the future to promise of sunshine and laughter.
Who warrants a guess at what awaits us?
Who knows what turning the next corner might bring?
To lose hope now, to forget the dreams, warm fuzzies and smiles
Is to encourage futility and shatter all good intention.
May I feel the sweet temptation of determined effort?
Torn and bruised in heart and mind, a fear to test new emotion –
Dare I allow the shock of optimism?
Why, what good to brood and ever backwards slip
As Life strides and onward we must plod without fear.
Alone, first I thought, but now no longer …
Have my Life, it will not leave me;
My dreams, my work, my love, my hope and patience
To these combine ever faithful with honesty.
Together, see us win: Life and I – once again it’s “we”.

*

Holly M Maxwell

Written 29 April 1984

 

*

 

 

© Holly M Maxwell Boydell


All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

Life Is Like The Tides

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If your life is fabulous,
be grateful.
If your life is difficult,
be grateful.
Life is like the tides,
everything moves & changes.

*

Whatever you are experiencing right now, know that it is only a matter of time before it passes.

If life is going well, grab it with both hands and enjoy every minute, being appreciative and grateful for all that is in your life.  If you are going through trials, do your best to hold on and, in the midst of whatever you’re dealing with, look around for things to be grateful for … this not only helps you to keep your equilibrium during challenges, but seeing the ways in which we are blessed always helps to lift our spirits, even if our circumstances are doing all in their power to grind us down.

No matter what you are experiencing right now, know that “this too shall pass” and it is our attitude to the moment that creates our reality, as well as determining the harvest later on.  Gratitude ought to always be the first port of call, in any situation, as it is the safest. Tides may rise, and tides may fall, and tides may bless us … but they will change. All that is left after a tide is what remains on the beach … our attitude during the tide is key to the picture we shall witness afterwards.

Be mindful, whatever the situation you’re living, and always find ways to be grateful.

When your life is fabulous, that is the perfect time to show appreciation, as well as to sow into the lives of others, and to appreciate within yourself the moment that you have now … these are the blessings for later, these are the areas that you will need to draw strength from when the tides get higher.

“We reap what we sow” and as the tides come in, so out they will go.

 

If your life is fabulous,
be grateful.
If your life is difficult,
be grateful.
Life is like the tides,
everything moves & changes.

*

 

 

 

In mindfulness,

Holly x

 

 


WordPress Prompt:
https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/flavorful/

 

Courage To Be Real

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I recently received a message from someone I have never met, whom I learnt has had a very challenging life and has a very sad childhood story. The message was so heartfelt and so grateful  … it moved me beyond tears … this post is a result of receiving that message.

Apparently my ‘being real’ has been a blessing and has provided strength to this person, who has been following my writing (unbeknownst to me) for some time …

Why am I sharing this snippet into the ether?

Because I have a very important message for anyone who thinks that their life is meaningless, less than, unappreciated, unapplauded, unrewarded or is simply battling through the little and large waves:

You do matter. Being real IS allowed. You ARE precious. You DO deserve to be on this earth. You ARE worthy of love. It does NOT matter what you look like to others. It is NOT money or possessions that give people value. It is NOT anyone else’s place to make you feel bad about yourself. You DO have a role to play in the universe. You ARE allowed to be honest, frank, authentic, and even ‘cut and dried’. You MAY become a brighter, lighter, saltier, more fabulous and utterly authentic version of yourself. There is NOTHING that is impossible with God on your side, so do NOT allow ANYONE to rob you of your dreams, your true nature, your ambitions, your hopes, your desires. It IS OK to fall down and it is even ok to make a complete and utter fool of yourself … as long as you learn from the experience, keep learning, and allow yourself the freedom to laugh at life and to laugh at your own jokes! Laugh at yourself, laugh and laugh and laugh … And HUG yourself a lot, because there are times when no one else is there to hug you. So, always find ways to encourage YOURSELF. You are fully entitled to joy and peace and love and prosperity and abundance in every way that you wish and that would make your heart sing. You DO matter, and every single aspect of life belongs to you just as much as you belong to Life itself.

There is only one caveat to all of this, and it is:

Remember that it is in giving of ourselves that we give the most … money can never quite cut it in the same way … and if we wish to see our own lives blessed, we always receive a greater return for our investment when we help to raise others up first.

Be brave enough to be your AUTHENTIC self, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks about you. It is NOT our business to try to dictate all outcomes or another’s thoughts, but it IS our business to BE REAL … and is the only SUSTAINABLE, healthy way.

If you will dare to step out of the box, you never know whose life you might save!

Be brave enough to LOVE, to be who you are, for real. You’ll shine, you’ll prosper, you’ll make a difference, no matter what.


With courage and love,

Holly x

 

 

On Being Moulded For Leadership

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On Being Moulded For Leadership

Have you ever heard it said that people who are positive and always moving forward are a little like ping pong balls, or life buoys? No matter how hard life tries to keep them down, it is impossible to force a plastic ball filled with air to remain underwater – no sooner do you press it down, than it pops right back up to the surface. I heard this description in a church talk about being authentic the other day, and it resonated with me greatly. Such a simple illustration of a basic life truth.

In my experience, and over decades of observing many friends and others who have had to tackle some tough life lessons, those who are destined for leadership and positive mentorship of others, are frequently the ones who have had the biggest trials. Despite all that they have been dealt or had to face, they have persevered and kept on going, regardless of the weight of the challenge.

Sometimes life swings a really hard bat, and in these times even the toughest and strongest willed among us are sideswiped by the trials they face. It is not uncommon to hear of people who, to the public eye, appear to have everything going for them, yet have faced, or are facing, battles and hardships unimagined by most.

I had a thought some time ago, which I noted down at the time and saw again today, prompting the writing of this post …

 

It is often the best ‘Teachers’, ‘Healers’ and ‘Leaders’ who have had to break first;

Having been shaped and chamfered,

they become more capable of aptly, ably and knowingly leading the way.

 

Leaders come in all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life, from a range of backgrounds and experiences, and their spheres of influence vary tremendously. However, one common element in all leadership is that those who have walked the path that they speak of or expect of others, are usually the ones who gain the most respect.  Leadership can be taught in various fields and forms, experts coming out of the woodwork all around us, but those who command the greatest following and see the most enduring, sustainable results are those who truly have walked, do walk, their ‘talk’.  The most profound lessons are those that are learnt by experience, not those learnt from books or by rote.

Thus, it is always a good idea to try to remember that, when life is creasing, squeezing, squashing, pressing, pruning, and chamfering us … we might just be being moulded for leadership.  The more the chamfering, very often the more and more profound, widespread and sustainable the influence later.

There is always something positive to be found in the chamfering moments of life … leadership par excellence so often being the gold at the end of the rainbow, the treasure after and in between the storms.

So, hold on.

You may well be in for the ride of your life or going through something excrutiating right now. Trust that you are being made into an eagle who, like the proverbial ping pong ball, will always find a way to rise up.

Keep your hope alive, rest and breathe …

Yours may well be the hand, the example and the guiding light that someone else gains strength from one day, and you may well be destined for something truly great.

And remember:

Great people are like ping pong balls … no matter how deep the water and how frequent the dunking, you cannot keep them down.

 

 

 

 

Holly x

 

Note:
chamfer:  verb – to put an edge, angle or groove in.

 

 

 

~ : ~

When We Help Others

It’s quite extraordinary … I keep discovering that, when we help or bless others, without thought of return, we are helped ourselves, in so many different ways.

 

It is, as if by “magic”, the Universe knows exactly what is needed, sometimes at the very last minute, but always there somehow, in perfect synchronicity.

 

Never doubt that what we give out comes back to us. It works like clockwork, every time.

 

So bless others, and it will return to you … I promise.

 

 

 

Holly x

 

 

~ : ~

 

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/visceral/

 

In The Garden Of The Mind – A Poem

    

In The Garden Of The Mind

With sweet bitterness I think of the way we hurt
And wonder at the monstrous thoughts
That claim for themselves
The precious moments of our lives.
What right, these demons of destructive power,
To tread so heavily on our dreams?
How dare they obscure the sunshine from our view
And with such brutal force
Plant their small seeds of gruesome despair
In the shadowed flower beds of our minds?

A little love!  A friendly touch!

New energy begins to fizzle
Through the branches of my thought,
And with gathering momentum
Strength finds its plotted course
Whilst perseverance warmly nourishes
Far into the recesses of my seedling memory.
Fed and tended, my bruised resolve refreshed;
For in His mercy the Gardener plants
New seeds of faith and hope
And graciously
silences
my Lamentation.

 

 

~ : ~

 

 

 

Written on 27 April 1990.

 

© Holly Maxwell Boydell

Shine Anyway

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Shine Anyway

The devil will hold on for dear life, but when he loses his grip, he loses his grip. Cheesed off to the enth degree, mightily ****** off, yes, but when he loses his grip that’s that.

Do not be afraid of anything. Have faith and keep facing forward, with determination and a sword of Truth. Stay in the light. Be brave. Be prepared to stand alone, but stand anyway. Be prepared to be mocked, set aside, left out, but smile anyway. Be prepared to be ripped off, bruised, lied about and lied to, but set your sights on higher things anyway.

“Never, ever give up.”

The Light always wins, anyway.

There will be “beauty for ashes” …

After all, this is how diamonds are made and how gold is refined.

So stand.

Hope.
Rest in God.
Persevere.
Trust and do good.

And shine anyway.

❤️

 

With love,
Holly x

 

Beeswax, light & holly sprigs

Beeswax, light and holly sprigs for inspiration.

 

Truth And Love

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This piece is raw and unedited. It was written straight from the heart.

 

Truth And Love

When I was a little girl, we had a black “houseboy” called John who cried when we left our home in Natal, to go to Cape Town. He had been my closest ally and loved us all so much, bending over backwards in so many ways to put our lives and needs before his own. Not only did that parting hurt, but so did losing my beloved pet cat, “Kicky” on the journey … and then our father disappeared from our lives a little while later … to reappear magically fifteen years later … but that’s nothing compared to what happened during those fifteen years.

No one knows my full story. No one knows the pain that I rise above every single day. No one else I know has walked a similar path – in Africa, Britain, Australia, and bumped back down in unfamiliar territory in Britain – and I have no one with whom I can compare stories or gain direction from. So I hang onto God and I never ever know what He’s going to do in my life each day … but I always know that He is there and he’s keeping me breathing through it all.

For about twenty years, I had a type of amnesia. After unwillingly leaving South Africa at the end of 1985, and then being totally immersed in British country life for almost two before taking myself on the next (challenging) adventure to London, without back up of any sort, I had completely forgotten the languages of the country where I was born and grew up. Survival mode had kicked in full ball. I had no contact with most of my oldest and dearest friends and many of my beloved relatives for most of the years since leaving South Africa, through no design or choice of my own, and over the past decade or so many have reappeared. This, in itself, has been a massive heart stopping exercise, one that has been on a curve and a roll and non stop for a considerable amount of time. I thank God for these people, every single one of them, and for the serendipity that has been working to repair the broken jigsaw puzzle of my crazy life.

In the meantime, all of life has to happen too.
And, by my God, it does.
Full ball.

Please understand that I’m still doing my absolute best to recover from the last nervous breakdown, the second of two which occurred in Australia over the fourteen years that I lived there, the last in the process of the chaos that was our leaving our home and life in Australia, putting my lovely business to bed ~ hoping to pick it all up again after a little soiree abroad …

One day I might write the full story.
The full story.
The full fifty plus years.
But. I’m afraid to expose those who have betrayed or hurt me ~ I realise that’s their indaba and not mine. I can only live with Truth and we each have to live with the consequences of our own decisions, choices and actions … as do I. We each have to learn to grow and mould ourselves into better shapes and treat others better and gain compassion, understanding, learn forgiveness and practise the loving art of grace … each of us … I do not manage the universe … so one day my story will come out, because it just might help one other person on their rocky path.

God bless those who love unconditionally and who do not judge. Your reward will be waiting for you in heaven … meantime, on earth we each get to experience that which we give out.

Choose LOVE.
It’s the most reliable, I’ve found.
In all its facets.

 

 

 

~ Holly ~

 

 

 

My World – A Poem

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My World

My world, this is my world –
It is all mine when I feel it is.
I have the power in me
To create, to make it beautiful.
I can love and give of my heart,
I can make myself and others happy.
I can share, I can explore and
Invent the cures to prevent all misery.
This power that we all possess
Could make our worlds a happier place
If only everyone would come to realise
The strength that lives within them
To create a glorious Paradise!

~ : ~

Written in May 1983

© Holly Maxwell Boydell